I think it's important to express myself on these emotional topics, but I'm worried that an overabundance of my own sadness will bring you all down with me into a pit.
In order to avoid that, I've spent the past few months curating my emotional trials into this list of microblogs. May it be for you much like a sad love song--in your moments of pain, a commiserate friend; in your moments of triumph, a memento mori that keeps you humble.
Topics too depressing to get their own post
- When you consistently use more conditioner or shampoo than you use shampoo or conditioner, so that you never finish both bottles at the same time.
- Spending the whole game of Settlers of Catan winning, only to have the other players revolt against you, and cause you to lose so bad you want to cry.
- When you're talking with a friend about a TV show or book series that you only casually enjoy, and they ask you, "Do you mind if I give away some parts?" and you say no because you're enjoying the conversation and want it to continue, but then you go back to watching or reading and you realize that the entire experience of the series is changed now that you know that one spoiler.
- The fact that last seasons of really good, long-running TV shows always come across more as cast and crew nostalgia than as a good ending to the show.
- Keeping so many emails in your inbox so that you remember to respond to them that you eventually cannot see all of them and so forget to respond to them.
- Sticky notes that only stick long enough for you to stop looking at them, and then fall off the wall and you can never find them again and they remind you of nothing.
- How much more fun it is to put up Christmas decorations than to take them down.
- Dirty laundry.
- Enjoying the creative stimulation that a caffeine rush gives you, but suffering from so much presticogitation that you can't actually use it to stimulate your creativity.
- When you like the Glee version better than the original, but can tell no one.
- Causing a traffic jam by trying to avoid a car accident.
- Having a terrible day at work, but then having your boss tell you that you're a "great asset to the team" and then wondering whether that is a compliment or a cry for help.
- Coming to the end of a bagel after mistakenly thinking that you had a whole half left.
- Loving a song so much that you cannot physically restrain yourself from listening to it over and over and then slowly beginning to hate it.
- Having really stupid pet peeves, but not knowing how to develop the patience to keep them from peeving you anymore.
- Taxes
- Struggling to read analog clocks when you're 24 years old.
- Wanting to go back to college because it was the last time you knew what you were doing.
- Wanting to share a funny Michigan-Winter joke on Facebook and then remembering that, because you don't live in Michigan anymore, your friends will be more confused than commiserate.
- Fun and awesome dreams that are also so easy to psychoanalyze that you're too embarrassed to share them with anyone because they'll immediately know all your deepest insecurities.
- Seeing deer in your backyard and wondering for the rest of the day if they got hit by a car because what the heck were deer doing in your "yard" in the city?
- Things that should go viral but never will because famous internet people never see them.
- Catching up with a book or TV series without realizing that it wasn't over yet, and then suddenly having to wait for the next installment to come out.
- Dirty dishes.
- Music that is at just the wrong volume so that you either have to set it to 23 and be barely able to hear it, or set it to 29 and wince at every downbeat.
Thank you for your patience in reading my woes. I hope I did not bring you down too much. I may be forced to continue this list in the future because, you know, we live in a fallen world and all that.
--Mary Margaret
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